A marriage is a living, breathing entity. It requires nurturing, attention, and intentional effort to not only survive but to thrive. In the whirlwind of daily life—navigating careers, managing households, raising children, and simply getting through the week—it can be easy to let the connection with our most important person slip into the background. But a strong, happy, and resilient marriage isn’t something that just happens; it’s something that is built, day by day, through small, consistent acts of love, respect, and understanding.

The conversation around improving relationships is more dynamic and accessible than ever. On platforms like TikTok and Pinterest, under hashtags like #MarriageAdvice and #RelationshipGoals, a new generation is sharing and seeking wisdom, moving beyond grand romantic gestures to focus on the micro-habits that create lasting intimacy. The trend is clear: modern couples are looking for practical, actionable advice that acknowledges the complexities of long-term partnership. They are interested in emotional intelligence, effective communication, and the science of what makes love last. It’s about being proactive, not just reactive, in the pursuit of a fulfilling partnership.

This guide is a comprehensive collection of 25 ways to make your marriage better, starting today. Presented in descending order, we begin with foundational, mindset-shifting concepts and move toward specific, practical habits you can implement immediately. These are not quick fixes, but rather a roadmap to a deeper, more joyful, and more resilient connection with your partner. Whether your marriage is in a season of struggle or you’re simply looking to turn a good partnership into a great one, these principles are designed to help you and your partner grow together, strengthen your bond, and build a love that truly lasts a lifetime.

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25. Redefine Your Understanding of Intimacy

When we think of intimacy, our minds often jump straight to the physical. But true, lasting marital intimacy is a multi-faceted jewel. It’s about emotional, intellectual, experiential, and spiritual connection. Emotional intimacy is the safety to be vulnerable, to share your deepest fears and dreams without judgment. Intellectual intimacy is the thrill of sharing ideas, debating respectfully, and being mentally stimulated by your partner. Experiential intimacy is built by creating shared memories, from grand adventures to the simple ritual of a morning coffee together. Physical intimacy, of course, is crucial, but it becomes infinitely more powerful when it’s an extension of these other forms of connection. Make it a goal this year to explore and nurture all facets of intimacy in your marriage. For a deeper dive into this, exploring how to Revive Intimacy and Fix a Sexless Marriage can provide a valuable starting point.

24. Master the Art of the "Soft Start-Up"

How you begin a difficult conversation can determine its outcome. Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher on marital stability from The Gottman Institute, found that conversations that begin with criticism or contempt are almost destined to fail. The "soft start-up," in contrast, is about raising an issue gently. Instead of saying, "You never help with the dishes, you’re so lazy," try an "I" statement: "I feel overwhelmed when I see the sink full of dishes at the end of the day. Could we make a plan to tackle them together?" This approach avoids blame, expresses your own feelings, and states a positive need, making your partner far more likely to respond with cooperation instead of defensiveness.

23. Assume Good Intent (Give the Benefit of the Doubt)

In the friction of daily life, it’s easy to attribute negative intentions to our partner’s actions. He left his socks on the floor to annoy me. She’s quiet tonight because she’s mad at me. In a healthy marriage, the default assumption should be that your partner loves you and has good intentions. Perhaps he was exhausted and simply forgot the socks. Perhaps she is quiet because she had a draining day at work. By consciously choosing to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, you replace a cycle of suspicion and resentment with one of grace and understanding. It’s a small mental shift that can dramatically change the emotional climate of your home.

22. Become a Student of Your Partner

The person you married is not the same person they are today, and they will continue to evolve. Make it your mission to be a lifelong student of your spouse. What are their new passions? What are their current stressors at work? What is their new favourite song or TV show? What are they dreaming about for the future? People change, and one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner is the feeling of being truly seen and known for who they are right now. This requires curiosity and active listening, ensuring your Love Languages and Their Importance are spoken in a way that reflects their current needs.

21. Create "How Was Your Day?" as a Sacred Ritual

The perfunctory "How was your day?" "Fine," exchange is a missed opportunity for connection. Transform this daily touchpoint into a meaningful ritual. Dr. Gottman calls this the "stress-reducing conversation." The goal is not to solve your partner’s problems, but to provide a safe space for them to vent and feel heard. Put your phones down, make eye contact, and listen with genuine interest. Ask follow-up questions. Empathize with their frustrations ("That sounds so difficult"). Celebrate their wins. This 20-minute daily ritual can act as a powerful buffer against the stresses of the outside world, reinforcing that you are a team.

20. Schedule Regular Marriage Meetings or "State of the Union" Talks

It sounds clinical, but a regular, scheduled check-in can be incredibly beneficial. This isn’t a time to air grievances, but a time for intentional connection and planning. You can use this weekly meeting to sync your calendars, plan your date nights, talk about your goals for the upcoming week, and check in on how you're both feeling emotionally. It’s a proactive way to manage the logistics of life and ensure that you are both on the same page, which can prevent countless small conflicts from erupting later. This level of organization is a key part of The Ultimate Wedding Planning Checklist and Timeline, and its principles are just as important for maintaining the marriage that follows.

19. Fight Smarter, Not Harder (Establish Rules of Engagement)

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship; it’s how you handle it that matters. Healthy conflict is possible, but it requires rules. Sit down together during a time of peace and establish your "Rules of Engagement." These might include: no name-calling, no raising voices, taking a 20-minute cool-down period if things get too heated (with a promise to return to the conversation), and avoiding the words "always" and "never." Agreeing on these rules beforehand provides a framework that can keep disagreements from escalating into damaging fights. For more on this, the book Crucial Conversations offers excellent strategies for navigating high-stakes discussions.

18. Cultivate a Culture of Appreciation

In a long-term marriage, it’s easy to start taking your partner for granted. Actively fight this tendency by creating a culture of appreciation. The goal is to catch your partner doing something right. Thank them for the small things: making the coffee, taking out the trash, handling a difficult phone call. Expressing appreciation shouldn’t be reserved for grand gestures. A simple, "Thank you for working so hard for our family," or "I really appreciate you listening to me vent just now," can make your partner feel seen, valued, and loved. This regular affirmation is one of the most powerful 10 Habits of Couples Who Stay Deeply in Love for a Lifetime.

17. Maintain Your Individual Identity and Friendships

A healthy marriage is made up of two healthy individuals. While your identity as a couple is important, it’s crucial not to lose your sense of self. Continue to nurture your own hobbies, interests, and friendships. This is not a threat to the marriage; it’s a vital component of it. Having your own outlets makes you a more interesting and fulfilled person, which enriches the partnership. It brings new energy and conversation into the relationship and prevents the unhealthy dynamic of codependency. Supporting your partner’s individuality is a profound act of love and trust. This journey of self-discovery is a theme explored in How To Find Yourself When You're Feeling Lost in Life.

16. Prioritize Laughter and Playfulness</h4>

Life is serious enough. Your marriage should be a source of joy, laughter, and playfulness. Share inside jokes. Be silly together. Have a spontaneous pillow fight. Send each other funny memes throughout the day. Laughter is a powerful connector and a potent antidote to stress. Research from institutions like Loma Linda University has shown that laughter can reduce stress hormones and improve mood. Prioritizing playfulness reminds you that you’re not just partners in life’s responsibilities; you’re also partners in fun.

Find Your Perfect Match: Just as you seek the perfect connection in a relationship, finding products that align with your lifestyle can be just as satisfying. Platforms like Etsy are wonderful for discovering unique, handcrafted items—from personalized anniversary gifts to custom home decor—that can help you celebrate your unique love story and create a beautiful shared space.

15. Learn How to Apologize (and How to Forgive)

A genuine apology is not just the words "I'm sorry." It involves three key components: expressing remorse ("I’m sorry for what I did"), taking responsibility ("I was wrong"), and making a commitment to change ("I will try to do better next time"). Similarly, forgiveness is not about condoning your partner's actions; it’s about choosing to release your own resentment for your own peace and for the health of the relationship. Both are skills that require practice and humility. A marriage where both partners are capable of genuine apology and forgiveness is a marriage that can weather any storm.

14. Have Regular Tech-Free Time

In the modern world, one of the biggest threats to connection is distraction, and our phones are the primary culprits. Institute a regular "no-tech" rule. This could be for the first hour after getting home from work, during all mealtimes, or for the last hour before you go to sleep. Putting your phones away sends a clear message: "You are my priority right now. You have my full, undivided attention." This simple act can dramatically improve the quality of your conversations and your sense of connection.

13. Create New Traditions and Rituals of Connection

Shared rituals are the secret language of a couple. They are the small, consistent things you do together that create a sense of "us." While you may have traditions from your families of origin, it’s incredibly powerful to create new ones that are unique to your marriage. This could be "Taco Tuesday," a Sunday morning walk to your favourite coffee shop, watching a specific holiday movie every year, or a special way you celebrate your anniversary. These rituals act as anchors, providing comfort, stability, and a steady rhythm of connection throughout the years. The process of creating these new traditions can begin right after you get married, a key point in 10 Things To Do After You Get Engaged which also applies to post-wedding life.

12. Sweat Together

Sharing a physical activity is a fantastic way to bond. This doesn't mean you have to become marathon runners. It could be taking a dance class, going for a hike, playing tennis, or even just doing an online workout video together in your living room. Exercising together releases endorphins, reduces stress, and can even boost arousal. It’s a healthy habit that’s good for your bodies, your minds, and your relationship.

11. Touch Each Other More (Non-Sexually)

Physical touch is a fundamental human need and a powerful way to communicate love and affection. Make an effort to incorporate more non-sexual physical touch into your daily routine. Hold hands while you’re walking. Give a long hug when you greet each other at the end of the day. Put a hand on their back as you pass them in the kitchen. Let your feet touch under the table. These small points of contact create a constant current of affection and reassurance, keeping you physically connected even outside the bedroom.

10. Defend Your Marriage from Outsiders

Your marriage should be a fortress. It is essential that you and your partner present a united front to the world. This means not complaining about your spouse to friends or family. It means backing your partner up in disagreements with others (even if you discuss it privately later). It means setting firm boundaries with in-laws or anyone else who might try to interfere in your relationship. When your partner knows, without a doubt, that you have their back, it builds an incredible foundation of trust and security. Protecting your partnership is a crucial aspect of Setting Healthy Boundaries as a couple.

9. Talk About Money, Openly and Regularly</h4>

Disagreements about money are one of the leading causes of marital stress and divorce. It is absolutely critical to have open, honest, and regular conversations about your finances. This includes creating a shared budget, discussing your financial goals (like saving for a house or retirement), and being transparent about your spending habits. Reputable financial experts like Ramsey Solutions offer great resources for couples. These conversations can be uncomfortable, but avoiding them will only lead to bigger problems down the road. Approaching your finances as a team is a crucial step toward building a secure future together.

8. Continue to Date Each Other

The courtship shouldn't end once you say "I do." The importance of a regular date night cannot be overstated. It’s a dedicated time to step away from your roles as parents, employees, or household managers and simply be a couple. It’s a time to have fun, to have real conversations, and to remember why you fell in love in the first place. A date night doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. The key is consistency and intentionality. For a wealth of ideas, you can explore this list of 25 At-Home Date Night Ideas for Couples.

7. Express Your Needs Clearly and Kindly

Your partner is not a mind reader. It is unfair to expect them to magically know what you need or want. One of the greatest acts of love you can perform in a marriage is to clearly, calmly, and kindly articulate your needs. Instead of hoping they’ll notice you’re stressed and offer help, try saying, "I've had a really tough day, and what I would love right now is just a quiet hug." This takes the guesswork out of the equation, sets your partner up for success, and is a much more effective way to get your needs met.

6. Be Each Other's Biggest Cheerleader

You should be the president of your partner’s fan club, and they should be the president of yours. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small. Encourage them in their pursuits. Be the person who believes in them when they doubt themselves. Knowing that your partner is your biggest supporter creates a powerful sense of security and confidence. This mutual support is the engine that can power you both toward your individual and shared dreams. This is a core part of being a true partner, a theme explored in How To Be a Better Man For Yourself and Your Partner.

5. Schedule Sex

This might sound unromantic, but for busy couples, it can be a marriage-saver. The idea isn't to make sex a chore, but to make it a priority. By putting it on the calendar, you are both intentionally carving out time for physical intimacy, which allows anticipation to build and ensures that it doesn’t get perpetually pushed to the bottom of the to-do list. The scheduled time is just the appointment; the romance and spontaneity can happen within that dedicated space. Many relationship therapists, such as those from Relate UK, support this as a practical strategy.

4. Say "I Love You" Every Day

The words matter. It may seem simple, but the daily ritual of saying "I love you" is a powerful affirmation of your commitment and affection. Say it in the morning before you leave. Say it in a text in the middle of the day. Say it before you go to sleep at night. Don't let it become a rote, throwaway phrase. Pause, make eye contact, and say it with intention. It’s a small, consistent deposit into your relationship’s emotional bank account.

3. Go to Bed at the Same Time

This small habit can have a surprisingly large impact on your connection. Going to bed at the same time, even if one of you stays up to read while the other sleeps, creates a window for intimacy. It’s a time for pillow talk, for quiet connection, and for physical touch, free from the distractions of the day. It reinforces the idea that you are a pair, ending the day on the same page.

2. Remember the 5-to-1 Ratio

Dr. Gottman's research revealed a key indicator of a happy, stable marriage: for every one negative interaction during a conflict, there are five or more positive interactions. These positive interactions can be as simple as a shared laugh, a supportive touch, a head nod, or a kind word. This doesn't mean you can never have a negative moment, but it highlights the importance of creating a vast reservoir of positivity in your relationship that can easily absorb the occasional conflict.

1. Choose Each Other, Every Single Day

Love is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a commitment that you reaffirm every single day. There will be days when you are tired, annoyed, or disconnected. In those moments, you have a choice: to turn away from your partner or to turn towards them. The most successful marriages are built by two people who wake up every morning and, no matter what challenges the day holds, consciously choose to love, honour, and prioritize their partner. It is the most foundational and most powerful act of all.

Conclusion

A great marriage is not about grand, sweeping gestures, but about the quiet, consistent, and intentional choices you make every single day. It’s about choosing curiosity over assumption, appreciation over criticism, and connection over distraction. Improving your marriage is a journey, not a destination, and it's one that you and your partner embark on together.

By integrating even a few of these practices into your daily life, you can begin to shift the dynamic of your relationship, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy, trust, and joy. It’s about building a partnership that feels like a safe harbour in a chaotic world, a place of unconditional support, and a constant source of laughter and love. The beautiful truth is that you have the power to create the marriage you’ve always dreamed of, starting with one small, loving action at a time.

We are passionate about providing resources that help build stronger, happier relationships. If this article has resonated with you, please consider supporting our work. Your donation allows us to continue creating meaningful, in-depth content for our community. You can find ways to contribute at the top of the page or by simply scrolling down. Thank you for your support.

Further Reading From That Love Podcast

• 13 Unique and Meaningful Wedding Ceremony Ideas

• 8 First Dance Songs for Your Wedding

• How to Create a Wedding Vision Board

• How To Plan A Wedding On A Budget

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. We're so busy, we barely have time for each other. Where should we start? Start small. The best place to begin is with #21, creating a sacred "How was your day?" ritual. It's just 15-20 minutes a day, but it's a powerful way to reconnect amidst the chaos. From there, you can work on scheduling a non-negotiable date night once a month.

2. What if my partner isn't interested in working on the marriage? You can't force your partner to change, but you can change your own actions. Start by implementing the tips that you can control, like expressing appreciation (#18) and giving the benefit of the doubt (#23). Often, one person's positive changes can create a ripple effect, inspiring the other to respond in kind.

3. We fight about the same things over and over again. How do we break the cycle? This is very common. It often means there is a deeper, underlying issue that isn't being addressed. This is a perfect time to practice the "soft start-up" (#24) and establish "rules of engagement" (#19). If you're still stuck, this may be a sign that professional help from a marriage counselor could be beneficial.

4. How do we bring back the "spark" we had when we were first dating? The "spark" is often about novelty and focused attention. The key is to "continue to date each other" (#8). Get out of your routine. Try new restaurants, explore a new town, take a class together. Creating new, fun experiences is a great way to reignite that early-dating excitement.

5. Is it really okay to schedule sex? Doesn't that make it a chore? Many couples find it incredibly liberating. It takes the pressure off and ensures that physical intimacy remains a priority. Think of it as scheduling a date—the scheduling is just the logistics; the romance and passion are what you bring to that dedicated time.

6. My partner and I have very different communication styles. How can we get on the same page? The first step is to recognize and respect these differences, not judge them. One great resource is the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller, which explains different attachment and communication styles. Understanding where you each are coming from is the first step toward finding a middle ground.

7. What is the "emotional bank account"? This is a concept popularized by Stephen Covey and used by many relationship experts. It's a metaphor for the amount of trust and goodwill you've built up in a relationship. Positive interactions are "deposits," while negative ones are "withdrawals." A healthy marriage has a large positive balance.

   
   

8. How do we rebuild trust after it's been broken? Rebuilding trust is a slow process that requires consistent, trustworthy behaviour over time. It requires the person who broke the trust to be completely transparent, patient, and empathetic to their partner's pain. Professional counselling is often highly recommended in these situations.

   
   

9. We don't really have any shared hobbies. Is that a problem? Not necessarily, as long as you respect each other's individual interests (#17). However, it is beneficial to find at least one or two activities you enjoy doing together, even if it's simple, like trying new recipes or going for walks. This is about creating shared positive experiences.

10. When should we consider marriage counseling? It's a great idea to consider counseling before you're in a crisis. Think of it as a tune-up for your relationship. However, you should definitely seek help if you're stuck in negative cycles, if conflicts are becoming destructive, if you're feeling constantly disconnected, or if trust has been broken. The organization Relate is an excellent UK-based resource for finding qualified therapists.