14 Soft Goals for a Kinder, Calmer 2026
- Joao Nsita
- 1 day ago
- 22 min read
As the calendar turns and we stand on the precipice of a new year, a familiar pressure begins to mount. It’s the season of resolutions, a time when society urges us to become shinier, faster, and more productive versions of ourselves. We are encouraged to set hard, quantifiable goals: lose 20 pounds, get a promotion, save a specific amount of money. While these ambitions can be motivating, they often come with a hidden cost—a culture of relentless self-optimization that can lead to stress, burnout, and a pervasive feeling of not being good enough. But what if we decided to approach the new year differently?
A quiet, powerful counter-movement is gaining momentum, a gentle rebellion against the tyranny of the to-do list. On social media platforms like Pinterest and TikTok, a new philosophy is taking root, championed by those who are tired of the hustle. It’s the era of “soft goals.” This is not about a lack of ambition; it is about a redefinition of what it means to be successful. Soft goals are not about what you do, but about how you want to feel. They are gentle, qualitative intentions focused on nurturing your inner world, fostering connection, and cultivating a life that is rich with peace and joy, not just accomplishments. They are less about a destination and more about the journey.
This guide is your invitation to embrace that gentler path for 2026. We have curated a list of 14 beautiful and transformative soft goals, counted down in descending order, that are designed to help you create a kinder, calmer, and more intentional year. These are not tasks to be conquered, but practices to be explored. They are about trading self-criticism for self-compassion, and embracing the profound truth that you are already whole and worthy, just as you are.
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14. Curate Your Digital World
The Vibe: Our digital environment is just as real and impactful as our physical one. The constant stream of information, the curated perfection of social media feeds, and the relentless negativity of the news cycle can be a significant source of anxiety and comparison. This soft goal is about becoming the intentional curator of your own digital world. It’s about consciously choosing what you consume and transforming your phone from a source of stress into a tool for inspiration, connection, and joy. It’s the digital equivalent of decluttering your home to create a more peaceful living space.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: Instead of a hard goal like "spend only 30 minutes on social media a day" (which can feel restrictive and lead to feelings of failure), this is about improving the quality of the time you do spend online. It’s an act of self-preservation, a way to protect your mental and emotional energy from the drain of online negativity. By curating your feeds, you are creating a digital sanctuary that reflects the person you want to be and the feelings you want to cultivate. This practice is a powerful form of self-care, a theme we explore in our guide on How to Build a Self-Care Day Routine That Actually Sticks.
How to Implement It:
The Gentle Unfollow: Set aside 15 minutes each week to scroll through your social media following lists. As you scroll, ask yourself a simple question for each account: "Does this content make me feel good?" If the answer is no—if it makes you feel anxious, envious, or "less than"—unfollow or mute it without guilt.
Follow the Inspiration: Actively seek out and follow accounts that align with your soft goals. Look for artists, poets, nature photographers, therapists who share gentle advice, or creators who focus on hobbies you enjoy.
Organize Your Apps: Group your apps into folders on your phone. You might have a folder for "Utilities," one for "Creativity," and one for "Mindfulness." Move the time-wasting apps off your home screen to make them less accessible.
Curate Your Inbox: Unsubscribe from marketing emails that clutter your inbox and create a sense of urgency or consumerist pressure. Services like Unroll.Me can help you do this in bulk.
13. Create a “Done List”
The Vibe: Our to-do lists are often a source of immense pressure—a never-ending scroll of tasks that can leave us feeling perpetually behind and unproductive. This soft goal is about flipping that script. A “Done List” is the simple, powerful practice of ending each day by writing down everything you did accomplish, rather than focusing on what you didn’t. It is a ritual of self-acknowledgment, a way to honour your effort and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: This practice is a direct intervention against our brain's natural productivity guilt and negativity bias. It reframes your perspective from one of lack to one of accomplishment. It acknowledges the invisible labour that often doesn't make it onto a to-do list—the comforting of a friend, the patient handling of a difficult conversation, the simple act of making a nourishing meal. It fosters a sense of achievement and self-respect, reminding you that your efforts, in all their forms, are valid and worthy of celebration. The feeling of being a supportive partner is a win worth celebrating, a theme we explore in our article on 10 Ways to Celebrate and Appreciate Each Other Daily.
How to Implement It:
Find a Notebook: Dedicate a small notebook or a section of your journal to your Done List.
The End-of-Day Ritual: Before you go to sleep, take five minutes to list everything you did that day.
Include Everything: Don't just list work tasks. Include acts of self-care ("took a 15-minute walk"), acts of kindness ("called my mom"), and even the basic acts of living ("did the laundry," "cooked dinner").
Read and Reflect: Read over your list and take a moment to genuinely acknowledge your effort. This is a powerful way to end the day on a positive and self-affirming note. For more on the power of gratitude and positive reflection, you can explore the work of renowned positive psychology expert Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Center.
12. Move Your Body for Joy, Not for Punishment
The Vibe: For many of us, our relationship with exercise is fraught with pressure and obligation. It’s often framed as a punishment for what we’ve eaten or a relentless pursuit of a specific physical ideal. This soft goal is about completely reframing that relationship. It’s about uncoupling movement from aesthetics and reconnecting it with its true purpose: joy. It’s about finding ways to move your body that feel good, liberating, and fun, rather than another chore to be endured.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: This goal is about cultivating a loving and intuitive relationship with your body. It takes the pressure and judgment out of exercise, which can make it a more sustainable and enjoyable practice. When you move for joy, you are more likely to stick with it because it becomes a "get to" rather than a "have to." It fosters a sense of embodiment and gratitude for what your body can do, rather than focusing on how it looks. This positive relationship with your body is a key part of self-love, a theme we explore in our guide on 11 Cozy Self-Love Practices to Help You Heal From the Inside Out.
How to Implement It:
Explore Your "Movement Menu": Brainstorm a list of all the ways you enjoyed moving as a child. Did you love to dance? Ride a bike? Swim? Hula hoop? Revisit these activities without any goal of burning calories.
Focus on the Feeling: After you move, check in with yourself. Do you feel more energized? Calmer? Happier? Focus on these internal benefits rather than the numbers on a scale or a fitness tracker.
Gentle Beginnings: Try a gentle, restorative yoga class online. There are thousands of free classes on platforms like YouTube, from creators like Yoga with Adriene.
Dance It Out: Create a playlist of your favourite, high-energy songs and have a five-minute dance party in your kitchen while you wait for your coffee to brew. The joy of music is a powerful motivator, a theme we explore in our list of the Top 10 The Beatles Songs of All Time.
11. Practice the Art of Doing Nothing
The Vibe: In our culture of constant productivity, the act of doing absolutely nothing is a radical and rebellious act. This soft goal is about intentionally scheduling small pockets of time to simply be, without any agenda, goal, or distraction. This is not about being "lazy"; it is about giving your brain and your nervous system a desperately needed break from the relentless stimulation of modern life. It’s about creating space for your mind to wander, for creativity to emerge, and for your system to reset.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: This is a direct antidote to burnout. Our brains are not designed to be "on" all the time. Unstructured, "fallow" time is essential for cognitive function, creativity, and emotional regulation. By practicing the art of doing nothing, you are honouring your natural human need for rest. It can reduce anxiety, improve your ability to focus when you do need to work, and can often lead to unexpected creative insights. For more on the science of rest and its importance for productivity, the work of author Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, detailed on his website, is a fantastic resource.
How to Implement It:
Schedule It: This is the key to making it happen. Schedule a 10 or 15-minute "Do Nothing" appointment in your calendar each day.
Find a Spot: Sit in a comfortable chair, lie on the grass, or find a park bench.
The "Rules": The only rule is no goal-oriented activity. No phones, no books, no podcasts. You are not trying to meditate or achieve a state of mindfulness (though that might happen). You are simply allowing yourself to exist.
Let Your Mind Wander: Your brain will be busy—that's okay. Let your thoughts drift. Notice the world around you: the sounds, the light, the feeling of the air. This practice of being present is a key to a calmer life, a theme we explore in our Transform Your Life series.
10. Read a Book Just for Fun
The Vibe: As adults, our reading lists can often become filled with "shoulds"—self-help books, career development tomes, and the literary classics we feel we ought to have read. This soft goal is a joyful invitation to reconnect with the pure, unadulterated pleasure of reading for fun. It’s about giving yourself permission to get lost in a story—a swoony romance, a thrilling mystery, a magical fantasy—without any pressure for it to be "productive" or "improving."
Why It's a Kinder Goal: Reading for pleasure is a powerful form of self-care and escapism. It reduces stress, improves empathy, and provides a much-needed break from our own reality. By allowing yourself to read whatever brings you joy, you are honouring your own tastes and reclaiming reading as a leisure activity, not a chore. It’s a way to travel to new worlds, meet new people, and experience a universe of emotions, all from the comfort of your own home. The joy of getting lost in a love story is something we celebrate in our Romance Book Recommendations section.
How to Implement It:
Visit a Library or Bookstore: Spend an hour browsing without a specific goal. Pick up whatever cover or title intrigues you. For recommendations, Goodreads is a fantastic resource for finding books based on your taste.
Join a Book Club: Joining a book club that focuses on a genre you love can be a great way to discover new books and connect with fellow readers.
Try an Audiobook: If you struggle to find time to sit down and read, audiobooks are a fantastic way to enjoy stories while you're commuting, doing chores, or exercising.
The "10-Page Rule": Give yourself permission to stop reading a book if you're not enjoying it. Life is too short to read books you don't love. The important thing is the act of seeking out joy, a theme we explore in our article 10 Ways to Celebrate and Appreciate Each Other Daily.
9. Set a Gentle Morning and Evening Routine
The Vibe: The way we begin and end our days has a profound impact on our overall well-being. This soft goal is not about creating a rigid, hour-by-hour schedule, but about crafting a gentle, comforting set of rituals that bookend your day with calm and intention. A gentle morning routine can help you ease into the day with a sense of peace, while a gentle evening routine can signal to your body and mind that it's time to unwind, leading to more restful sleep.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: These routines are about creating a sense of stability and predictability in a world that is often chaotic. They are acts of self-care that reduce stress and promote emotional regulation. A gentle morning routine can prevent you from starting your day in a state of reactive panic, while a soothing evening routine is one of the most effective tools for combating insomnia and improving sleep quality. This is about creating a compassionate structure for your day that prioritizes your peace. The importance of these daily practices is a theme we explore in our guide to 12 Daily Self-Care Rituals for Women Who Do Too Much.
How to Implement It:
Morning Routine Ideas:
Hydrate First: Before you have your coffee, drink a full glass of water.
A Moment of Stillness: Spend five minutes stretching, meditating, or simply sitting in silence before you check your phone.
Gentle Light: Open the curtains and let in some natural daylight to help wake up your body's internal clock.
Evening Routine Ideas:
The "Digital Sunset": Put your phone and other screens away at least an hour before bed.
A Warm Drink: Sip a cup of caffeine-free herbal tea, like chamomile or peppermint.
Journaling: Do a quick "brain dump" to get any lingering worries out of your head.
Gentle Sensory Input: Read a physical book, listen to a calming playlist or a "sleep story" on an app like Calm, or light a soothing candle.
8. Cultivate a "Third Place"
The Vibe: In sociology, a "third place" is a location outside of your home (the first place) and your work (the second place) where you can relax, connect, and feel a sense of community. It could be a coffee shop, a library, a park, a community garden, or a cozy pub. This soft goal is about intentionally finding and cultivating your own third place, a sanctuary where you can go to recharge, be yourself, and feel a sense of belonging outside of your primary obligations.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: Having a third place is crucial for a healthy work-life balance and a strong sense of self. It provides a space for a different kind of social connection and a break from the pressures of your daily roles. It’s a place where you are not an employee or a spouse or a parent, but simply you. It can combat loneliness and foster a sense of community, which is a key component of overall happiness and well-being. This is particularly important for those who work from home, as the lines between the first and second place can become blurred. This search for connection is a fundamental human need, a theme we often discuss on That Love Podcast.
How to Implement It:
Explore Your Neighbourhood: Take a walk and pay attention to the places that feel welcoming.
Become a "Regular": Once you find a place you like, try to visit it regularly, even if it's just for 30 minutes once a week. Get to know the staff.
The Activity is Secondary: Your third place can be centered around an activity (like a yoga studio or a bookstore), but the goal is the feeling of the place itself.
It Can Be Free: A park bench with a beautiful view or your local library are fantastic and completely free third places. For more on the importance of community, you can explore the work of authors like Robert Putnam.
7. Practice Saying "No" with Grace
The Vibe: For many of us, especially women, saying "no" can feel like a radical and deeply uncomfortable act. We are often socialized to be people-pleasers, to prioritize harmony over our own needs. This soft goal is about reclaiming "no" as a tool for self-preservation. It’s about learning to set gentle but firm boundaries to protect your time, your energy, and your mental health. It’s the practice of honouring your own capacity.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: This is one of the most powerful and transformative self-care practices there is. Every time you say "no" to something that drains you or doesn't align with your values, you are saying a powerful "yes" to your own well-being. It is a direct antidote to burnout and resentment. Learning to set boundaries improves the quality of your relationships, as it is based on honesty and mutual respect, not on obligation. It is a profound act of self-respect. We have a whole in-depth guide on this vital skill in our article Setting Healthy Boundaries.
How to Implement It:
Start Small: Practice saying no to low-stakes requests first to build your confidence.
The "Pause" Technique: You don't have to answer immediately. A simple "Let me check my calendar and get back to you" gives you time to consider the request without the pressure of an immediate response.
The Kind but Firm "No": You don't need a long, elaborate excuse. A simple, "Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I'm not able to take that on right now," is perfect.
Offer an Alternative (If You Want To): "I can't help with that this weekend, but I'd love to catch up next week." This can soften the "no" while still honouring your boundary. This skill is crucial in all relationships, a theme we explore in our article on 10 Ways to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Divorce.
6. Nurture a Non-Productive Hobby
The Vibe: In a culture that is obsessed with "side hustles," it can feel like every activity we do needs to have a purpose, a goal, or the potential to be monetized. This soft goal is a rebellion against that mindset. It’s about finding and nurturing a hobby that you do for one reason and one reason only: because you love it. It is an activity that has no goal other than the joy of the process itself. It could be painting, learning an instrument, gardening, bird-watching, or collecting vintage stamps.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: A non-productive hobby is a powerful way to reconnect with your sense of play and creativity. It provides a much-needed mental break from goal-oriented thinking and can be incredibly meditative. It allows you to enter a "flow state," where you are completely absorbed in the activity, which is a powerful antidote to stress and anxiety. It is a way to nourish a part of yourself that has nothing to do with your job or your responsibilities. It is an act of pure, joyful self-expression. The joy of creative flow is a theme we also touch on in our review of the film Elvis.
How to Implement It:
Revisit Childhood Passions: What did you love to do as a kid, before you worried about being "good" at it?
Focus on the Process, Not the Product: The goal of your painting is not to create a masterpiece to hang on the wall; it’s to enjoy the feeling of the brush on the canvas.
Give Yourself Permission to Be a Beginner: Embrace the awkward, messy phase of learning something new. The goal is not to be perfect.
Find a Community: Joining a local class or an online group dedicated to your hobby can be a wonderful way to learn and connect with like-minded people. For those looking for creative and hobby-related supplies, platforms like Etsy and Amazon are fantastic resources.
5. Practice Mindful Consumption
The Vibe: This soft goal can apply to anything you consume—food, media, shopping—but it is particularly powerful when applied to food. Mindful consumption is the practice of slowing down and paying full, sensory attention to the experience. When it comes to eating, it means noticing the colours, smells, textures, and tastes of your food without the distraction of a screen or a rushed schedule. It’s about transforming the simple act of eating from a mindless refueling process into a moment of pleasure and gratitude.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: Mindful eating can completely transform your relationship with food. It can increase your enjoyment of meals, improve your digestion, and help you to better recognize your body's natural hunger and fullness cues. It is a practice in presence and a form of deep respect for your body and for the food that nourishes it. It is a simple, daily way to practice mindfulness and find joy in the present moment. The practice of being present is a key to a happier life, a theme we explore in our article on 11 Cozy Self-Love Practices.
How to Implement It:
The Single-Task Rule: When you eat, just eat. Put away your phone and turn off the TV.
Engage Your Senses: Before you take a bite, take a moment to look at your food. Smell it.
Chew Slowly: Put your fork down between bites. Try to chew each mouthful thoroughly and notice all the different flavours.
The "Mindful Morsel": Start by practicing with just one small thing a day—your first sip of coffee, a single piece of fruit, or a square of dark chocolate. For more on the principles of mindful eating, Mindful.org is an excellent resource.
4. Forgive Yourself
The Vibe: This is one of the deepest and most challenging soft goals, but it is also one of the most liberating. We are often our own harshest critics, holding ourselves to impossible standards and replaying our past mistakes on an endless loop. This soft goal is the ongoing practice of extending the same grace, compassion, and forgiveness to yourself that you would so freely offer to a beloved friend. It is the practice of letting go of self-blame and accepting your own beautiful, messy humanity.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: Self-forgiveness is the cornerstone of true self-love and emotional resilience. Holding onto guilt and self-criticism is an immense emotional burden that can lead to anxiety, depression, and a pervasive sense of unworthiness. The practice of self-forgiveness allows you to learn from your past without being imprisoned by it. It is a profound act of kindness that frees up your energy to focus on the present and the future. This is a core component of building a healthy relationship with yourself, which is the foundation for a healthy partnership, a theme we explore in our guide on 10 Essential Marriage Roots That Strengthen Your Connection.
How to Implement It:
Acknowledge Without Judgment: Acknowledge the mistake or the thing you are struggling to forgive. Allow yourself to feel the regret or sadness without spiraling into self-blame.
The Self-Compassion Mantra: When you find yourself in a loop of self-criticism, place a hand on your heart and repeat a simple mantra, like the one developed by self-compassion expert Dr. Kristin Neff: "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment." You can explore her work on her official website.
Write a Letter of Forgiveness: Write a letter to yourself, as you would to a friend, offering understanding and forgiveness for a past mistake.
Focus on the Lesson: Try to reframe the mistake as a learning opportunity. What did you learn from that experience? How has it helped you to grow? The journey of healing and growth is central to our Transform Your Life series.
3. Speak to Yourself Like You Would a Friend
The Vibe: The voice of our inner critic can be relentless, cruel, and incredibly convincing. This soft goal is the daily, conscious practice of challenging that voice and replacing it with one of kindness and support. It is about learning to become your own best friend, your own biggest cheerleader. It’s the simple but revolutionary act of asking yourself, in any moment of struggle or self-doubt, "What would I say to a dear friend in this exact situation?"
Why It's a Kinder Goal: This practice can fundamentally transform your relationship with yourself. It is the foundational skill of self-compassion. The way we talk to ourselves has a direct and profound impact on our mood, our resilience, and our overall mental health. By shifting your inner dialogue from one of criticism to one of encouragement, you are building a powerful internal support system. This can reduce anxiety, combat feelings of impostor syndrome, and create a deep and abiding sense of self-worth.
How to Implement It:
Notice the Voice: The first step is to simply become aware of your inner critic. Notice when it shows up and the kind of things it says.
The "Friend" Test: When you catch yourself in a spiral of negative self-talk, pause and ask the question: "Would I ever say this to someone I love?" The answer will almost certainly be no.
Reframe the Thought: Actively rephrase the critical thought into a kind and supportive one. Instead of "I'm so stupid, I messed that up," try "That was a difficult situation, and I did the best I could. It's okay to make mistakes."
The "Cheerleader" Persona: It can be helpful to give your kind, inner voice a name or a persona. Imagine a wise, loving mentor or a fiercely supportive friend, and channel their voice. This practice of building a supportive inner world is a key component of personal well-being, a theme we explore on our sister podcast, That Blissful Wellness Podcast.
2. Embrace Imperfection
The Vibe: We live in a world that is obsessed with perfection—the perfect photo, the perfect career, the perfect family. This relentless pursuit of an unattainable ideal is a primary source of stress and unhappiness. This soft goal is the liberating practice of embracing imperfection, in ourselves, in others, and in life itself. It is the philosophy of "good enough." It’s about celebrating the messy, the incomplete, and the beautifully flawed nature of being human. It is the art of Wabi-sabi, the Japanese aesthetic of finding beauty in imperfection.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: Embracing imperfection is the ultimate act of self-acceptance. It frees you from the paralyzing fear of failure and gives you permission to be a work in progress. It can unleash your creativity, as you are no longer afraid to make something that isn't perfect. It can also make you a more compassionate and forgiving partner and friend, as you are more able to accept the imperfections of others. It is a profound shift in mindset that can lead to a more relaxed, authentic, and joyful life. For more on the power of vulnerability and imperfection, the work of researcher and author Brené Brown is essential reading.
How to Implement It:
The "Good Enough" Mantra: In your daily tasks, aim for "good enough" instead of "perfect."
Celebrate the "Failures": When you make a mistake, try to reframe it as a data point, a learning experience, rather than a moral failing.
Notice Beauty in Imperfection: Actively look for beauty in the imperfect things around you—a cracked pavement with a flower growing through it, a piece of handmade pottery, a wrinkled smile.
Share Your Imperfections: Be willing to be vulnerable and share your own struggles and imperfections with trusted friends or your partner. This fosters genuine connection. This level of vulnerability is key to a deep and lasting partnership, a theme we explore in our guide on 10 Essential Marriage Roots That Strengthen Your Connection.
1. Cultivate Gratitude as a Daily Practice
The Vibe: At the very top of our list, the single most powerful, accessible, and transformative soft goal you can set is the daily practice of gratitude. This is more than just saying "thank you"; it is the active and intentional practice of scanning your life for the good. It is a fundamental shift in perspective, a way of training your brain to focus on what you have rather than what you lack. It is the simple, profound, and scientifically-backed key to a happier and more contented life.
Why It's a Kinder Goal: The benefits of a regular gratitude practice are vast and well-documented. It has been shown to improve mood, reduce stress, increase resilience, improve sleep quality, and even strengthen relationships. It is the ultimate antidote to the "hedonic treadmill"—our tendency to constantly want more. Gratitude grounds us in the present moment and allows us to find joy in the simple, everyday beauty of our lives. It is a practice that costs nothing, requires only a few minutes a day, and has the power to completely transform your outlook on life.
How to Implement It:
The Gratitude Journal: This is the classic and most effective method. Every day, write down three to five specific things you are grateful for. "I am grateful for the way the sun felt on my face during my walk." "I am grateful for my partner for making me laugh today."
The "Gratitude Walk": Go for a short walk with the sole intention of noticing things to be grateful for—the colour of the sky, the sound of birds, the smile of a stranger.
Express it Out Loud: Make a habit of verbally expressing your gratitude to the people in your life. This not only reinforces your own feelings of gratitude but also strengthens your connections. This is a core part of building a strong partnership, a theme we explore in our article 10 Ways to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Divorce.
The Bedtime Ritual: As you lie in bed, mentally list three good things that happened during your day. Let this be your final thought before you fall asleep. This is a powerful way to end your day on a positive note, a practice we also recommend in our guide to 12 Daily Self-Care Rituals for Women Who Do Too Much. For those looking for tools to help cultivate this practice, you can find a variety of beautiful gratitude journals and daily planners on platforms like Amazon and Etsy.
Conclusion
Embracing a year of soft goals is a quiet revolution. It is a conscious and courageous choice to step off the relentless treadmill of self-improvement and to step into a life of self-acceptance. It is the understanding that your worth is not measured by your productivity, and that your happiness is not a destination to be reached, but a state to be cultivated. The 14 gentle intentions on this list are not a new set of rules to follow perfectly; they are a collection of invitations—invitations to be kinder to yourself, to find joy in the process, and to build a life that truly feels good from the inside out. As you step into 2026, may your goals be soft, your heart be open, and your year be filled with a gentle, quiet, and profound sense of peace.
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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the main difference between a "hard goal" and a "soft goal"? A hard goal is typically outcome-oriented, measurable, and external (e.g., "run a marathon"). A soft goal is process-oriented, qualitative, and internal (e.g., "move my body for joy").
Does setting soft goals mean I'm being lazy or unmotivated? Not at all. Soft goals require a different kind of motivation—one rooted in self-compassion and intrinsic well-being rather than external validation. It's about being ambitious for your peace of mind.
How do I track my progress with a soft goal? You track it by checking in with how you feel. Are you feeling calmer? More connected? More joyful? Journaling can be a great way to track these qualitative shifts over time.
Can I have both hard and soft goals? Absolutely! The two can beautifully complement each other. You might have a hard goal of saving money, but a soft goal of developing a less anxious and more mindful relationship with your finances.
I feel like I'm failing at my soft goals. What should I do? The concept of "failing" at a soft goal is a contradiction in terms. The practice is the goal itself. If you forget to practice for a few days, simply return to it with self-compassion, not judgment.
How do I choose which soft goals to focus on? Don't try to do them all at once. Read through the list and choose the one or two that resonate most deeply with what you feel is lacking in your life right now. If you're feeling burned out, start with "Practice the Art of Doing Nothing."
What if my partner isn't supportive of my new, softer approach to life? This can be a point of conversation. Explain that this is not about neglecting your responsibilities, but about finding a more sustainable and joyful way to live. Your own increased sense of calm and happiness will often be the most convincing argument.
Where can I find more resources on this topic? Look for books and podcasts on topics like "slow living," "mindfulness," and "self-compassion." The work of authors like Kristin Neff, Brené Brown, and Katherine May (author of Wintering) are all fantastic resources.
How can I apply soft goals to my relationship? Instead of a hard goal like "go on one date night a week," you could set a soft goal of "cultivating more playful connection" or "practicing more generous listening." This focuses on the quality of your interactions. Our guide on 10 Ways to Rekindle Romance in a Long-Term Marriage is full of such ideas.
What is the most important thing to remember when setting soft goals? The most important thing is to be kind to yourself. The entire philosophy is rooted in self-compassion. The goal is not to be a perfect practitioner of soft goals, but to gently and consistently choose a kinder path.
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