We Are Okay by Nina LaCour Book Review: A Quiet Queer Anthem of Grief and Grace
- Joao Nsita
- May 1
- 6 min read
Introduction: What If Loneliness Could Sing?
What if the silence of a snowbound dorm held a melody—of grief so deep it echoes, of love so tender it aches? In We Are Okay, Nina LaCour crafts a haunting YA gem that’s as quiet as a winter night yet roars with emotion. Published in 2017, this Michael L. Printz Award winner follows Marin, a college freshman who flees California after her grandfather’s death, leaving behind Mabel—her best friend and unspoken love. When Mabel visits over winter break, their reunion unravels a lesbian love story beneath layers of loss. LaCour, a master of emotional landscapes, delivers a tale that’s raw, real, and radiant—a must-read in 2025 for anyone who’s ever felt the weight of what’s left unsaid. With Pride’s spirit woven into its bones, it’s a queer journey of self-discovery that lingers like frost on glass.
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Book Summary: A Snow-Dusted Unraveling of Heart
We Are Okay opens in a desolate New York dorm, where Marin rides out winter break alone, snow piling outside like her buried grief. Months earlier, she fled San Francisco after her grandfather—her only family—died, cutting ties with everyone, including Mabel, her childhood confidante and maybe-more. Flashbacks weave through Marin’s past: sunlit California days with Mabel, their friendship teetering into romance, and the quiet life with Gramps by the sea. Now, Mabel’s arrival forces Marin to confront what she’s run from—the truth about Gramps’s death, the ache of their faded bond, and her own queerness. The central conflict is internal: Marin’s battle with loss and identity, set against the external tension of Mabel’s visit. Lo’s unique magic lies in its intimacy—a character-driven tale where a snowstorm mirrors Marin’s isolation, and a lesbian love story blooms beneath the weight of silence, making this YA contemporary a quiet powerhouse of emotion and revelation.
Author’s Style and Craft: A Whisper That Cuts Deep
Nina LaCour’s prose is a soft blade—spare, lyrical, and piercing. Her first-person narration through Marin’s voice is a window into a soul adrift, every sentence dripping with longing and loss. The dual timeline—past summers with Mabel, present snowbound days—flows seamlessly, its non-linear structure a dance of memory and moment. Pacing is deliberate, like a heartbeat slowing in grief, then quickening as truths surface. Dialogue is minimal but potent: Marin’s “I was okay, once,” to Mabel lays bare her fragility. LaCour’s character development shines—Marin evolves from a vibrant teen to a ghost of herself, then back toward light, her queerness unfolding naturally. The dorm’s starkness, Gramps’s cluttered house—settings breathe life into this queer YA fiction, a testament to LaCour’s craft in weaving atmosphere with emotion, making this literary fiction a haunting melody of love and healing.
Themes and Deeper Meaning: Love’s Quiet Rebellion
We Are Okay hums with themes of grief, queerness, and the search for belonging. The snowbound dorm is a cocoon, symbolizing Marin’s self-imposed isolation—a shield against loss and her lesbian identity. Love—between Marin and Mabel, Marin and Gramps—threads the story, a quiet rebellion against a world that demands conformity. LaCour explores how grief fractures us, yet love, even unspoken, mends the cracks, mirroring Pride’s call to embrace every shard of self. The ocean in flashbacks whispers of memory and transience, tying Marin’s personal ache to broader human experiences—loneliness, the weight of family secrets, the courage to be seen. This contemporary romance transcends YA tropes, offering a queer narrative that’s both personal and universal, a historical echo of resilience in a modern shell.
Strengths: A Tender Triumph of Truth
This novel’s brilliance lies in its raw intimacy and emotional depth. LaCour’s spare prose shines in moments like Marin unpacking Gramps’s death—“The trouble with denial is that when the truth comes, you aren’t ready”—a gut-punch of vulnerability that lingers. The romance with Mabel, from tentative touches to aching silences, is a slow burn that ignites the heart, grounding the queer love story in authenticity. The snowstorm setting amplifies Marin’s solitude, turning a dorm into a stage for revelation, while flashbacks paint a California past so vivid you can smell the salt air. These strengths craft a reading experience that’s both devastating and hopeful, a YA contemporary novel that redefines queer fiction with its unflinching honesty and tender grace—a literary fiction standout that resonates long after the last page.
Areas for Improvement: Shadows in the Silence
Even a gem like We Are Okay has its faint cracks. The plot’s quietness—more meditation than momentum—might leave action-hungry readers restless; its 240 pages feel sparse at times. Mabel’s character, while compelling, lacks the depth of Marin’s inner world—a bit more backstory could round her out. The climax, though emotionally potent, arrives late, potentially testing patience. Adding a touch more present-day tension or fleshing out Mabel’s perspective could sharpen this queer YA tale. Yet, these are whispers in a storm—most will embrace the stillness, savoring this lesbian romance for its introspective power rather than its pace, a historical fiction echo that prioritizes feeling over flash.
Comparative Analysis: A Queer Voice in YA’s Chorus
We Are Okay sings alongside Malinda Lo’s Last Night at the Telegraph Club (Amazon Link), both weaving queer love into historical frames, though LaCour’s modern lens contrasts Lo’s 1950s grit. Compared to LaCour’s Hold Still (Amazon Link), it’s quieter, less plot-driven, yet equally raw. Against Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (Amazon Link), it’s subtler, less buoyant, trading humor for heartache. LaCour challenges YA contemporary norms with her minimalist style and lesbian lead, influencing queer fiction with a voice that’s introspective and unflinching—a standout in romance novels and literary YA.
Target Audience: Who Will Find Home Here?
This book beckons readers aged 14+ who crave queer YA fiction, lesbian romance, and contemporary tales of loss—especially those celebrating Pride or seeking emotional depth. Fans of character-driven stories, literary fiction, and coming-of-age journeys will adore Marin’s quiet courage, as will book clubs craving discussion. Its intersectional lens—grief, queerness—appeals to those exploring identity’s layers. Content warnings: death of a loved one, emotional isolation. If you love YA romance novels, queer love stories, or historical echoes in modern settings, We Are Okay is your snow-dusted sanctuary—a must-read for 2025.
Personal Impact: A Haunting Harmony
We Are Okay slipped into my soul like a winter chill—Marin’s loneliness mirrored my own quiet corners, her love for Mabel a spark I’ve felt in shadows. It left me raw, tears streaking as I turned the final page, yet hopeful, cradling its tender truth. This queer romance novel carved a space in me, a reminder that even broken bits can mend. You need this YA contemporary for its haunting grace—it’s a melody of loss and love that echoes long after.
Conclusion: A Queer Classic That Whispers Forever
We Are Okay is a quiet triumph—Nina LaCour crafts a YA gem that’s as vital in 2025 as it was in 2017, a queer love story draped in grief and grace. It’s a must-read for its spare beauty and defiant heart, a contemporary romance that sings Pride’s anthem.
Grab it on Amazon and let Marin’s journey unfold.
In a world of loud tales, this whispers eternal—a testament to love’s enduring, fragile flame.
About the Author: Nina LaCour
Nina LaCour, born in Oakland, California, in 1984, is an acclaimed YA author whose lyrical prose has earned her the Michael L. Printz Award for We Are Okay (2017). With an MFA from Mills College, she’s penned bestsellers like Hold Still and Yerba Buena, blending queer narratives with emotional depth. A former bookseller and teacher, LaCour teaches at Hamline University’s MFA program and lives in San Francisco with her family. Explore more at NinaLaCour.com, Goodreads, and Hamline MFA.
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FAQ Section: Your We Are Okay Questions Answered
What’s We Are Okay about?
A college freshman, Marin, confronts grief and her queer identity when her ex-best friend Mabel visits over winter break.
Is it a romance novel?
Yes, a subtle lesbian romance threads through this grief-driven YA contemporary tale.
How’s the pacing?
Slow and introspective, building to an emotional peak—perfect for savoring, not rushing.
Who’s the target audience?
YA readers, queer fiction fans, and lovers of literary depth, 14+.
Any content warnings?
Death of a loved one, emotional isolation—handled with care, no graphic content.
What’s LaCour’s style like?
Spare, lyrical, and piercing—a quiet storm of emotion.
Why perfect for Pride?
Marin’s queerness blooms through pain, echoing Pride’s embrace of self.
How does it compare to Hold Still?
Quieter, more intimate—both raw, but this is less plot-heavy.
What’s its unique gift?
A lesbian love story wrapped in grief, redefining YA with stillness and truth.
Why read it in 2025?
Its queer heart and healing whisper remain timeless—a Pride anthem for any year.
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